An Open Letter to Chuck E. Cheese

Dear Charles E. Cheese, As a concerned parent whose immune system has been working overtime since my oldest child’s chubby little hand first touched a shopping cart handle, I wanted to kindly reach out and ask a simple, reasonable question: why is it legal for your establishment to exist? I’m absolutely sure I watched a colony of …

A Dark Walk Through the Pottery Barn Kids Holiday Catalog

Merry Christmas! CHRISTMAS. Hanukkah and its drab blue complexion can suck a yule log, and Kwanzaa can strangle itself with a tartan plaid snowman’s scarf. Oh mercy me! I wasn’t supposed to let that kitty out of the plush cashmere jacquard Santa bag up front. But, now that I’ve weeded …

When A Mom Sees Snoop Dogg…

It’s taken me a few days to fully process the Snoop Dogg concert. Let me just tell you that some things have changed (internal and external) since I became a mother and last went to a music festival of this nature. I feel like I could write a thesis about …

When a Mom Goes to Maui…

The Moana soundtrack goes with her, to everyone’s dismay. But then it gets over a million views, which only fuels my passion for singing to and embarrassing my children. CLICK TO WATCH THE VIRAL VIDEO HERE!    

Ah Yes, The Fifth Grade Puberty Talk at School

Last night, concerned parents were invited to gather and watch the video about puberty that our fifth graders will be shown in school soon. I went, but not as a concerned parent, rather as a disturbed human being (aka a writer) who loves a good laugh. And what better way …

Parenting Today Feels Harder. It Is.

“Is it supposed to feel this hard?” I still find myself asking the sky after eleven years of parenting. It sure as hell didn’t look this hard for my mom who regularly played tennis with other neighborhood moms, smoked cigarettes and put zero thought into the toxicity of what she …