Lost and Found

These days, I spend much of my time feeling lost, like a kid’s sweatshirt at the bottom of a towering bin in the school office. Everything is dark. Which way is up? Will I be here forever? But just as often, I am found. Brought back home by the smallest …

The Only Thing I Know About Pandemic Trauma

*I wrote this back in May 2020. Quarantine life feels strangely familiar to any pregnant person who’s ever been on high-risk, mandated hospital bed rest for more than a few weeks. The specifics are quite different, of course, but there are many similarities. For starters, there’s that rattling feeling of …

An Open Letter to Chuck E. Cheese

Dear Charles E. Cheese, As a concerned parent whose immune system has been working overtime since my oldest child’s chubby little hand first touched a shopping cart handle, I wanted to kindly reach out and ask a simple, reasonable question: why is it legal for your establishment to exist? I’m absolutely sure I watched a colony of …

When A Mom Sees Snoop Dogg…

It’s taken me a few days to fully process the Snoop Dogg concert. Let me just tell you that some things have changed (internal and external) since I became a mother and last went to a music festival of this nature. I feel like I could write a thesis about …

A Dark Walk Through the Pottery Barn Kids Holiday Catalog

Merry Christmas! CHRISTMAS. Hanukkah and its drab blue complexion can suck a yule log, and Kwanzaa can strangle itself with a tartan plaid snowman’s scarf. Oh mercy me! I wasn’t supposed to let that kitty out of the plush cashmere jacquard Santa bag up front. But, now that I’ve weeded …

When a Mom Goes to Maui…

The Moana soundtrack goes with her, to everyone’s dismay. But then it gets over a million views, which only fuels my passion for singing to and embarrassing my children. CLICK TO WATCH THE VIRAL VIDEO HERE!    

Ah Yes, The Fifth Grade Puberty Talk at School

Last night, concerned parents were invited to gather and watch the video about puberty that our fifth graders will be shown in school soon. I went, but not as a concerned parent, rather as a disturbed human being (aka a writer) who loves a good laugh. And what better way …