Jo-Ann Fabrics: A Forsaken Place

There are select errands in life that you know are going to be hell on Earth even before you step foot out the door. You know there’s going to be an excessively long line. You know they are going to only have one person working despite the excessive unmanned counters …

Snakeman: A Grown Man Who Chases Snakes

Two summers ago, I learned how to breathe into a paper bag. My worst nightmare came true. A seven-foot snake was on the loose somewhere on our street. How did I know this? Because an ambulance drove by my house, with our neighbor in it, who had been startled by the snake and …

Dear Beard and Moustache Trend

Dear Beard and Moustache Trend, You are living it up right now, aren’t you? I bet you are blasting “(I’ve Had) the Time of My Life” from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. I don’t blame you — you’ve got almost every hipster male, “with-it” dad and a smattering of unaware loggers …

In These Halls

A few days ago, I toured my first local public elementary school for the big hurry-up-and-freak-out-about-where-your-kid-is-going-to-go-to-school Fest that apparently happens each year as parents all over my city tromp through the schools, hoping to at least not hate what they see. My son is old enough to be in kindergarten …